Some people may call it love ♥

And there he was: Tall, brunette and totally drunk, or so it seemed.

He was not quite the guy I had imagined for me; actually he was completely the opposite.

I was trying hard not to laugh; making fun of him… he looked hilarious though.

Then, he spoke; I was surprised for the fact that he could actually say a word. So he asked if I could sit and talk with him and I said yes. To be honest I was just curious, I mean, what could he say to make me interested in him? Nothing! And he didn’t.

It was his behavior of the next days that made me a little excited about the whole “I wanna go out with you” thing.

He started sending text messages; I was totally surprised that he could remember me or the fact that the cell phone number under the name Tania in his contact list was actually mine.

Anyways… he kept sending messages, more than one each day.

I couldn’t understand myself…

I didn’t even like this guy! And there I was, answering back all of his messages. Why?

Maybe because (and this is the reason I believe in the most) I loved myself very little. What I’m trying to say is that I couldn’t believe someone was actually so interested in me that was sending me lost of messages and keeping in touch every day; so I didn’t want to lose that, that feeling, the emotion and the fact that for the very first time in my life I was not the stalker, he was stalking me!

Well, I will never know for sure why I did answer, but I will never forget “THAT” was the main mistake in my life that was going to cause all my suffering.

Sure it hurts...

Y cuando pienses en mí

recuerda cuánto te amé

respira memorias y extráñame

hurga en el pasado, vieja felicidad

y verás que encuentras una sonrisa

entre ésta cruel realidad...

Ain't love great?

Jamás podré pagarte tanta felicidad niña mala.

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Era entonces cuando todo se derrumbaba y terminabas contemplando aquella sonrisa una y mil veces más. Torturándote, lentamente como para alargar aquél suave y exquisito dolor…¡Maldito dolor! ¡Maldito él! ¡Maldito todo!

Y anhelabas verle, nuevamente… escuchar sus historias llenas de mentiras con algo de diversión.

No te quería, no te necesitaba… no en la manera en la que tú necesitabas de él.Actuabas de forma casi siniestra, acumulando actos fallidos, probando teorías aún sin comprobar; tirabas lágrimas, dejabas que la tristeza devastara tu mundo; después llegaba esa sonrisa perversa, aquella que tanto te gusta, lo hacías sufrir… pagar lo que había hecho.Justo antes de tenerlo a tu lado, echabas todo a perder…

Otra estrategia a la basura… Parecía ser inmune específicamente a ti, y sin embargo lucía enfermo, ¡portaba todos los síntomas!Todo era cuestión de no perder el juego, hacerme creer que ganaba para luego lograr mi derrota final. Y había que apostar lo ya obtenido, era todo o nada en un vaivén de enredos deliciosos.

Sin embargo perdía, estaba perdiendo…

…Y pensar que ya tenía ganada la partida.